Friday, June 09, 2006

Letters from the guarded castle

We all have ways of dealing with failed dreams, unfilfilled promises and relationships that we know are doomed from the very begining. An example is if a gay guy falls in love with a heterosexual guy he met on a short voyage.

I have always dealt with these experiences by making the first move and not waiting for myself to fall deeper into the chasm of oblivion.

Dear L,

This letter might surprise you or it might not.

I have been giving it a serious thought whether I should write to you or talk to you but I guess this is the best way. After many days of thinking whether it is appropriate or not to let you know how I feel about you, I decided to tell you anyway to give my mind peace. Besides, you’ll probably get this on the last day that we’re meeting each other so I’ll be spared of whatever reaction you’ll have. That may sound selfish but we all have means of protecting ourselves, sorry about that.

I guess it’s quite obvious that I like you, I really like you. I could even say it’s beyond liking you but that would be too impulsive on my part. I was quite impressed meeting you in Hong Kong and having those short and nice conversations with you. After I left the ship, it has been difficult putting you off my mind. I keep thinking of you and even emailed you. Meeting you again in the Tubbataha trip reinforced those feelings.

It would be presumptuous of me to say that having these feelings for you is crazy. But I feel that it would be best for me to let you know. Sometimes it is the best way of letting go, if you know what I mean.

I hope you would not get offended by this letter.

I hope you like the pictures I included.

Take care and see you.