Been so long...

It's been so long since I posted on this blog since I opened my account at multiply (http://danocampo.multiply.com)

You who have posted today that you dreamt of me, please get in touch with me. lampasot69@yahoo.com. I still have my old number by the way.

Mortality...

My father recently had a mild stroke and an operation to remove gall stones. As usual I tried to put on a brave front and did not want to appear worried yet deep inside my emotions could be compared to a tempest that a sailor can't tame.

I have never reconciled with mortality or the idea of death. That's the reason I avoid funerals as much as I can, especially of relatives and close friends. Maybe because I believe that I'll return again to this earth in another form or as a human being. On the other hand, maybe that's me trying to console myself and assuring myself life goes on, albeit in another state or another world.

My father being ill lately has knotted my emotions and has stirred a lot of thoughts that I've been trying to hold down.

I posted before that Everything But the Girl's songs have been a refuge for me. Here's one that reminds me how important parents are:


British Summertime

Leaving at dawn to beat the traffic, do you remember that too?
Curled asleep on the back seat, do you remember that too?
The soundless dark, the empty road, do you remember that too?
And that child asleep, only eight years old, do you recognise as you?

June, July, September, stretched ahead and out of view.
The whole world seemed a safe place, and never ending too.
But it was never as simple as you thought, there were just things you never knew,
and up ahead your parents bore the weight of all their worries and yours too.

Windows down on the coast road, wanting to be first to see the sea.
The whole world seemed a safe place, temporarily.
But it was never as simple as you thought, and you found out as you grew,
that up ahead your parents had borne the weight of all their worries and yours too.
All their worries and yours too.

...

I woke up today thinking about my presscon, my being single for more than 90% of my life, the recent typhoon, this weekend when I'll be diving in Anilao, the recent case of my father having a mild stroke thus reminding me that my parents are mortal after all, work-related stress due to inter-personal dynamics that tires you down, climate change that will change the face of lives here on earth, the evil behind the perpetrators of ge, those destroying our forests, people inventing destructive weapons and gadgets to kill others, our government whose sole purpose is to make lives difficult and miserable, other governments who are the same, the few people leading their people as they should, my falling in love with straight guys, my falling in love (still) with some women, my quirks, my rantings, my anger, my hopes, my pride, my oh my...

What am I trying to say? I don't know... Anxiety creeps up once in a while and I need a release or even some form of relief... I need a hug, I need intimacy, I neeed someone to talk to the whole night or just be with... Everyone needs someone, I do too...

The Myrmidson (www.themyrmidons.com) provides me some relief this morning as I prepare for my media activity. Here's my favourite song, and the title is MY FAVORITE (have to spell it the American way, hehe):

You're my favorite
You're my favorite
You're my favorite
I still love you
even though you no longer fit

You're my favorite
You're my favorite
FAVORITE
FAVORITE

Honest and truly
Will you always remain faithful
Honest and truly
stay true to me

You're my favorite
You're my favorite
FAVORITE
FAVORITE

Monday, Tuesday na na na na
Wednesday, Thursday na na na na
Friday, Saturday na na na na
Sunday, Monday na na na na

En Route to a Marine Disaster

We left port a few minutes ago heading towards Guimaras, the site of what is now considered worst oil spill in Philippine history. It is my first time to be on the Esperanza and have joined the Rainbow Warrior and the Arctic Sunrise several times, more recently visiting the pristine reefs of Tubbataha. Now I am onboard the Esperanza for the Defending Our Oceans Expedition.

Before leaving the port, I sat on the port side of the ship watching floating plastics and other garbage on the waters of Manila Bay, I can not help but feel anxious about what awaits us in the waters of Guimaras. It is depressing enough to see synthetic flotsam on the water’s surface as well as taking pictures of corals and other marine life smothered by plastics and other garbage. However, I do not think I am quite prepared to witness an oil spill first hand after seeing several documentaries of other oil spills and pictures of this recent and ongoing disaster.

We spent a lot of time discussing and considering the different factors that led to the decision to bring the Esperanza to Guimaras. More importantly, we had to make sure that Greenpeace would be there to make a difference in the ongoing efforts to minimise the impacts of the spill, if that is possible. As her name means, the Esperanza brings hope to a few families in the form of donated relief goods. The Philippine Coast Guard also requested Greenpeace to help in the visual assessment and documentation of affected areas (over and underwater).

As we discussed the plans to dive in areas affected by the oil spill, images of corals and other marine organisms covered in black sludge flashed into my mind notwithstanding our personal safety if we would dive in the oil slick. I have seen dead and dying corals which are almost totally white during the coral bleaching event in 1998 that brought tears to my eyes while I was diving conducting the assessment. Now I have to prepare myself to see something worse.

Affirmation

I have been doing environmental work for the past 22 years of my life, which is more than half of my mortal life on this earth so far. Some people have asked me if I don't get tired nor frustrated being involved in a noble albeit very difficult (and some would say "hopeless") cause.

I would agree that it is indeed a stressful, exhausting and more often than not frustrating cause to be in but it is not hopeless... there are big and small things that happen once in a while that reminds us why we choose the path we choose to tread.

I was sitting quietly (mostly lying down) the other night in my room when a feature on African penguins titled "City Slickers" was showing on Animal Planet. It is about penguins living amongst humans (or humans living in what used to be penguin habitat...). During the feature, it showed how an oil spill has killed a lot of penguins and how people worked together to save what remains of the penguin population that's already threatened by a lot of other factors. To make the long story short, thousands of penguins were hauled, washed, cleaned and later on released back into their environment after the spill...

I cried... I don't normally cry watching sad movies but this feature made me cry because it moved me and reawakaned my conviction that we humans play a crucial role in getting this planet back in shape, no matter how small or big, every effort counts...

Letters from the guarded castle

We all have ways of dealing with failed dreams, unfilfilled promises and relationships that we know are doomed from the very begining. An example is if a gay guy falls in love with a heterosexual guy he met on a short voyage.

I have always dealt with these experiences by making the first move and not waiting for myself to fall deeper into the chasm of oblivion.

Dear L,

This letter might surprise you or it might not.

I have been giving it a serious thought whether I should write to you or talk to you but I guess this is the best way. After many days of thinking whether it is appropriate or not to let you know how I feel about you, I decided to tell you anyway to give my mind peace. Besides, you’ll probably get this on the last day that we’re meeting each other so I’ll be spared of whatever reaction you’ll have. That may sound selfish but we all have means of protecting ourselves, sorry about that.

I guess it’s quite obvious that I like you, I really like you. I could even say it’s beyond liking you but that would be too impulsive on my part. I was quite impressed meeting you in Hong Kong and having those short and nice conversations with you. After I left the ship, it has been difficult putting you off my mind. I keep thinking of you and even emailed you. Meeting you again in the Tubbataha trip reinforced those feelings.

It would be presumptuous of me to say that having these feelings for you is crazy. But I feel that it would be best for me to let you know. Sometimes it is the best way of letting go, if you know what I mean.

I hope you would not get offended by this letter.

I hope you like the pictures I included.

Take care and see you.

D

5 Hours to Cool Down....

What does one do when everything is out of your hand and you feel like good ol' Murphy is pulling strings here and there?

Arrived at the office last night and started catching up with my emails when I realised that my plane ticket is not on my desk nor on the fax machine and it was past 11:00 pm already. Called up our travel agent but could not reach her mobile phone, her landline was ringing but no one was picking up. Searched the office in vain but still no ticket.

Spent the night trying to call reach her and finally got hold of her at 5:15 am. Just one catch: my flight to Legaspi is at 7:00 am and my office is in Kamias, Quezon City. Found out that the fax machine was not working last night and it was still not working this morning so I asked her to email it instead then rushed to the airport.

Got to the airport at least 40 minutes before my intended flight and, even at 10 metres, I could "feel" tempers on the edge. Turned out PAL overbooked the flight and all of us have lost our seats. Great huh?

Last year when I and my friends were also going to Legaspi and the flight was delayed for 3 hours. We complained, wrote a letter but PAL enever did anything to compensate us for the inconvenience. Now, it is the same thing all over again. We were being accused of being late when, in fact, the rule is: check-in counters would close 30 minutes before the flight (now they're saying it's 45 minutes). Damn! After heated exchanges with a non-person (a jerk, if you may) with a fancy title (manager or supervisor... he's still an a**hole) I decided to call our travel agent and get booked on Air Philippines.

And here comes the answer to my question: get a cab (if needed) and go to the nearest Starbucks (or a more politically correct place with wifi) and type and surf away...

Going back to PAL, I pity all of us Filipinos who have such a lousy national airline. There was a foreign couple (the woman is pregnant) whom I admire for their calm and composure arguing with the manager until the manager dismissed them with: I can't do anything anymore since you are late! The guy raised his voice but not even by much. But what he said should be the shame of PAL: this is not service at all!

Plane Always Late
Philippine's Airline is Lousy
Plane Assholes Love

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!