Under a big blue sky

WORLD OCEANS DAY

2011-06-08T16:55:00.004+08:00

Ever heard of Emong the hermit crab who decided to use a can as a home instead of salvaging sea shells? Probably not. I wrote the tale of Emong many years ago after seeing a crab awkwardly pulling a sardine can on the shores of San Salvador Island in Zambales. Quite isolated and far from big cities where garbage abounds San Salvador Island then was spared from refuse and non-biodegradable wastes coming from the mainland. However, seeing this spectre in front of me inspired to write the tale of Emong and to do something about garbage on land that end up in our Oceans.

Back to the present, it’s a few days from World Oceans Day and I only thought about one title for my blog: Our coral reefs are dying.. full stop. Too morbid? But it’s real and let me put my optimism hat on the shelf for now.

I’ve been diving for more than half of my mortal life (I’m 41 regardless of how I look, hehe) and I’ve seen how our oceans have been the dumping ground and recipient of all the refuse we humans use and misuse. I’ve seen corals smothered by everyday items such as drinking straws and plastic bags to toxic substances such as used batteries and effluents from manufacturing plants or even resorts. I’ve seen different marine organisms making a home out of tin cans, pvc pipes, PET bottles, broken cups… or even sea urchins using plastics for camouflage instead of blades of seagrasses or algae… name it I’ve probably seen it.

Once a year we have the international coastal clean up day and there’s a lot of hullabaloo on this day for media attention and “pogi or ganda points”. But does it have to be only one day in a year? It is also very disappointing to see that those joining in the clean up use a lot of disposable packaging for their food that eventually ends up in the same ocean that they have just tried to clean up… Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?

We can always say that nature adapts but until when and up to what extent? Is Emong better off with a tin can as a house? (when it gets published you’ll find out so no spoiler here)

I will not even rant about other issues such as the illegal harvesting of black corals that is now in the news or why power plants are going to be built adjacent to marine protected areas or the impacts of climate change on the oceans including ocean acidification because I know others will write about it on this day.

On this day, let us all be reminded that sometimes the smallest acts can have the greatest impact on the environment and on the attitude of other humans.

For the longest time I and my friends use reusable shopping bags whenever we go to the market in Anilao. We are often asked why we say no to plastic bags and the simple answers are: “Basura lang kasi” and “Puro basura na nga dagat natin eh kaya dapat huwag na gumamit ng plastic bags”. Some would react indifferently but nods of approval come from those who understand. Batangas is now going to ban the use of plastic bags following the move of other municipalities and cities. I was there last weekend carrying my usual reusable bags when I went to the market. Some of the comments I heard are: “Ayun ready na siya pag bawal na plastics…”, “Puwede naman pala yung magdala ng sariling lalagyan ang mamimili eh!”, “Kaya pala kayo dati pa nagdadala na ng sariling bag para din di na dumumi ang dagat naten!”.

Our reefs are dying, but there’s hope.

Been so long...

2007-06-07T12:38:00.000+08:00

It's been so long since I posted on this blog since I opened my account at multiply (http://danocampo.multiply.com)

You who have posted today that you dreamt of me, please get in touch with me. lampasot69@yahoo.com. I still have my old number by the way.

Mortality...

2006-11-16T11:51:00.000+08:00

My father recently had a mild stroke and an operation to remove gall stones. As usual I tried to put on a brave front and did not want to appear worried yet deep inside my emotions could be compared to a tempest that a sailor can't tame.

I have never reconciled with mortality or the idea of death. That's the reason I avoid funerals as much as I can, especially of relatives and close friends. Maybe because I believe that I'll return again to this earth in another form or as a human being. On the other hand, maybe that's me trying to console myself and assuring myself life goes on, albeit in another state or another world.

My father being ill lately has knotted my emotions and has stirred a lot of thoughts that I've been trying to hold down.

I posted before that Everything But the Girl's songs have been a refuge for me. Here's one that reminds me how important parents are:

British Summertime

Leaving at dawn to beat the traffic, do you remember that too?
Curled asleep on the back seat, do you remember that too?
The soundless dark, the empty road, do you remember that too?
And that child asleep, only eight years old, do you recognise as you?

June, July, September, stretched ahead and out of view.
The whole world seemed a safe place, and never ending too.
But it was never as simple as you thought, there were just things you never knew,
and up ahead your parents bore the weight of all their worries and yours too.

Windows down on the coast road, wanting to be first to see the sea.
The whole world seemed a safe place, temporarily.
But it was never as simple as you thought, and you found out as you grew,
that up ahead your parents had borne the weight of all their worries and yours too.
All their worries and yours too.

...

2006-10-03T07:31:00.000+08:00

I woke up today thinking about my presscon, my being single for more than 90% of my life, the recent typhoon, this weekend when I'll be diving in Anilao, the recent case of my father having a mild stroke thus reminding me that my parents are mortal after all, work-related stress due to inter-personal dynamics that tires you down, climate change that will change the face of lives here on earth, the evil behind the perpetrators of ge, those destroying our forests, people inventing destructive weapons and gadgets to kill others, our government whose sole purpose is to make lives difficult and miserable, other governments who are the same, the few people leading their people as they should, my falling in love with straight guys, my falling in love (still) with some women, my quirks, my rantings, my anger, my hopes, my pride, my oh my...

What am I trying to say? I don't know... Anxiety creeps up once in a while and I need a release or even some form of relief... I need a hug, I need intimacy, I neeed someone to talk to the whole night or just be with... Everyone needs someone, I do too...

The Myrmidson (www.themyrmidons.com) provides me some relief this morning as I prepare for my media activity. Here's my favourite song, and the title is MY FAVORITE (have to spell it the American way, hehe):

You're my favorite
You're my favorite
You're my favorite
I still love you
even though you no longer fit

You're my favorite
You're my favorite
FAVORITE
FAVORITE

Honest and truly
Will you always remain faithful
Honest and truly
stay true to me

You're my favorite
You're my favorite
FAVORITE
FAVORITE

Monday, Tuesday na na na na
Wednesday, Thursday na na na na
Friday, Saturday na na na na
Sunday, Monday na na na na

En Route to a Marine Disaster

2006-08-19T10:56:00.000+08:00

We left port a few minutes ago heading towards Guimaras, the site of what is now considered worst oil spill in Philippine history. It is my first time to be on the Esperanza and have joined the Rainbow Warrior and the Arctic Sunrise several times, more recently visiting the pristine reefs of Tubbataha. Now I am onboard the Esperanza for the Defending Our Oceans Expedition.

Before leaving the port, I sat on the port side of the ship watching floating plastics and other garbage on the waters of Manila Bay, I can not help but feel anxious about what awaits us in the waters of Guimaras. It is depressing enough to see synthetic flotsam on the water’s surface as well as taking pictures of corals and other marine life smothered by plastics and other garbage. However, I do not think I am quite prepared to witness an oil spill first hand after seeing several documentaries of other oil spills and pictures of this recent and ongoing disaster.

We spent a lot of time discussing and considering the different factors that led to the decision to bring the Esperanza to Guimaras. More importantly, we had to make sure that Greenpeace would be there to make a difference in the ongoing efforts to minimise the impacts of the spill, if that is possible. As her name means, the Esperanza brings hope to a few families in the form of donated relief goods. The Philippine Coast Guard also requested Greenpeace to help in the visual assessment and documentation of affected areas (over and underwater).

As we discussed the plans to dive in areas affected by the oil spill, images of corals and other marine organisms covered in black sludge flashed into my mind notwithstanding our personal safety if we would dive in the oil slick. I have seen dead and dying corals which are almost totally white during the coral bleaching event in 1998 that brought tears to my eyes while I was diving conducting the assessment. Now I have to prepare myself to see something worse.

Affirmation

2006-07-26T09:34:00.000+08:00

I have been doing environmental work for the past 22 years of my life, which is more than half of my mortal life on this earth so far. Some people have asked me if I don't get tired nor frustrated being involved in a noble albeit very difficult (and some would say "hopeless") cause.

I would agree that it is indeed a stressful, exhausting and more often than not frustrating cause to be in but it is not hopeless... there are big and small things that happen once in a while that reminds us why we choose the path we choose to tread.

I was sitting quietly (mostly lying down) the other night in my room when a feature on African penguins titled "City Slickers" was showing on Animal Planet. It is about penguins living amongst humans (or humans living in what used to be penguin habitat...). During the feature, it showed how an oil spill has killed a lot of penguins and how people worked together to save what remains of the penguin population that's already threatened by a lot of other factors. To make the long story short, thousands of penguins were hauled, washed, cleaned and later on released back into their environment after the spill...

I cried... I don't normally cry watching sad movies but this feature made me cry because it moved me and reawakaned my conviction that we humans play a crucial role in getting this planet back in shape, no matter how small or big, every effort counts...

Letters from the guarded castle

2006-06-09T08:33:00.000+08:00

We all have ways of dealing with failed dreams, unfilfilled promises and relationships that we know are doomed from the very begining. An example is if a gay guy falls in love with a heterosexual guy he met on a short voyage.

I have always dealt with these experiences by making the first move and not waiting for myself to fall deeper into the chasm of oblivion.

Dear L,

This letter might surprise you or it might not.

I have been giving it a serious thought whether I should write to you or talk to you but I guess this is the best way. After many days of thinking whether it is appropriate or not to let you know how I feel about you, I decided to tell you anyway to give my mind peace. Besides, you’ll probably get this on the last day that we’re meeting each other so I’ll be spared of whatever reaction you’ll have. That may sound selfish but we all have means of protecting ourselves, sorry about that.

I guess it’s quite obvious that I like you, I really like you. I could even say it’s beyond liking you but that would be too impulsive on my part. I was quite impressed meeting you in Hong Kong and having those short and nice conversations with you. After I left the ship, it has been difficult putting you off my mind. I keep thinking of you and even emailed you. Meeting you again in the Tubbataha trip reinforced those feelings.

It would be presumptuous of me to say that having these feelings for you is crazy. But I feel that it would be best for me to let you know. Sometimes it is the best way of letting go, if you know what I mean.

I hope you would not get offended by this letter.

I hope you like the pictures I included.

Take care and see you.

5 Hours to Cool Down....

2006-04-29T09:22:00.000+08:00

What does one do when everything is out of your hand and you feel like good ol' Murphy is pulling strings here and there?

Arrived at the office last night and started catching up with my emails when I realised that my plane ticket is not on my desk nor on the fax machine and it was past 11:00 pm already. Called up our travel agent but could not reach her mobile phone, her landline was ringing but no one was picking up. Searched the office in vain but still no ticket.

Spent the night trying to call reach her and finally got hold of her at 5:15 am. Just one catch: my flight to Legaspi is at 7:00 am and my office is in Kamias, Quezon City. Found out that the fax machine was not working last night and it was still not working this morning so I asked her to email it instead then rushed to the airport.

Got to the airport at least 40 minutes before my intended flight and, even at 10 metres, I could "feel" tempers on the edge. Turned out PAL overbooked the flight and all of us have lost our seats. Great huh?

Last year when I and my friends were also going to Legaspi and the flight was delayed for 3 hours. We complained, wrote a letter but PAL enever did anything to compensate us for the inconvenience. Now, it is the same thing all over again. We were being accused of being late when, in fact, the rule is: check-in counters would close 30 minutes before the flight (now they're saying it's 45 minutes). Damn! After heated exchanges with a non-person (a jerk, if you may) with a fancy title (manager or supervisor... he's still an a**hole) I decided to call our travel agent and get booked on Air Philippines.

And here comes the answer to my question: get a cab (if needed) and go to the nearest Starbucks (or a more politically correct place with wifi) and type and surf away...

Going back to PAL, I pity all of us Filipinos who have such a lousy national airline. There was a foreign couple (the woman is pregnant) whom I admire for their calm and composure arguing with the manager until the manager dismissed them with: I can't do anything anymore since you are late! The guy raised his voice but not even by much. But what he said should be the shame of PAL: this is not service at all!

Plane Always Late
Philippine's Airline is Lousy
Plane Assholes Love

GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-07T09:42:00.000+08:00

The Train Left Already...

There are times when I look back and realise that I've met quite a few people who might have been more than a passing acquaintance or a friend. Was sending SMS back and forth with someone I met a few years back last night...

D: There comes a time when one realises there are things one should've done at the opportune time... However when one missed that chance, it might be too late but sill worthwhile to make amends... Just remembered our night chatting by the beach in Donsol. I could've loved you but I was afraid...
W: Before you knew me better :)

D: Sort of... But having close brushes with death lately that I decided to tell people I know what I should've told them a long time ago. In your case I was so afraid I'd fall too deep
W: Am kinda overwhelmed. How have you been?

D: Overwhelmed with what? I have been drowning myself with work to drown out my depression and need for intimacy. Mask off now, if you don't like it tell me. You said you hated typing so just tell me when you've reached your limit...
W: Just finished with a LONG dat at work; BKK-Chiang Mai, Chiang Mai- Kunming, Kunming - Chiang Mai, Chiang Mai - Bangkok. Am afraid anything coming out of my mouth right now will be insufficient of what I want to convey.

D: Why?

... silence

Disenchanted

2006-04-01T21:11:00.000+08:00

Look at you now, you're disenchanted,
can't believe how things can change.
Take a little out of life and things get strange.
And now you find the wishes you were granted,
things you thought were in your hands,
have slipped away.
How much can you withstand?

The wasted time, the money spent,
a sign that reads 'For Sale or Rent'.
And everything is at a standstill,
and where's someone who'll be on hand till
you're no longer disenchanted,
thinking everything is wrong?

You know you're not the only one to wait so long.
I wonder, can you try again?
Are you that strong?

In transit....

2006-01-19T23:52:00.000+08:00

I used the title of this post as my status on YM today and a very good friend asked: "in transit? why?". depending on my mood and perspective it could have a whole lot of meaning in terms of length of time, point of reference etcetera.

I could be in transit between this life and another reincarnation...

I could be in transit between two geographic zones (Manila and Amsterdam like tonight)...

I could be in transit between a state of bliss and chaos...+

The possibilities are endless. But after the long Christmas break and enjoying Anilao so much again, any other place for me in the next few weeks is a transit point before I return to my favourite diving and windsurfing place. 11 days out of the country then back to Anilao... sounds like a good plan.

When things fall into place...

2006-01-08T10:09:00.000+08:00

This phrase will have different answers from different persons, from the same people at different times of their lives and sometimes different times of the day. Well, I have had some realisations over the past weeks and they are far too many to write in one entry.

It has been months again since I last wrote and I am faulting myself for not having the energy to write despite the fact I usually carry my laptop around even when I do not have an internet connection.

Spent a very peaceful holiday season in Anilao. Mostly windsurfing, diving, reading, listening to music and mixing them, AND eating... there goes my gym fees, transformed into excess baggage on my body. Hell, what could I do? Lived the good life for two weeks and of course atonement should come sooner than later. I have to blame Margaret for bringing enough food for a whole battalion for Christmas and New Year!

Returned yesterday to this forsaken city called Manila. Woke up this morning in my city bed and realised how surreal it seems to be in Anilao yesterday then Bangkok tonight... *sigh* I'll go back to Anilao any time.

Went to Bed before the long break and wrote something about that experience below. I do not like unguarded moments yet they sometimes bring out the best in us :)

Happy new year (belatedly but mean it!).

Permanence

I walk through this maze of sweaty bodies, empty stares and the incoherent sounds of people chatting. The thumpa-thumpa of what the club culture calls dance music these days serves as an idyllic backdrop to this place overloading with testosterone. As I look around, feeling drawn to the superficial and fleeting escape from the realities of the day, a part of me aches for something or even someone I know. Even a fleeting sense of familiarity beyond superficiality would be welcome.

Tonight is not one of those nights I could ignore what most people in this world longs for. Despite the gyrating bodies, the meaningful and assessing stares everyone else is engaged in giving one another, I come to the realization once again that I can not runaway from a much deeper need.

and that was an (un)eventful month

2005-09-21T09:31:00.000+08:00

taking some time to give attention to myself this time... have been bad at it for a month now, just working and working and working with neither a pause to collect my thoughts nor to give myself a moment to savour the big blue sky, the wind's caress on my face and the sounds around me. as i always say: there's no peace for the weary earth defender...

just wanted to post this song by boy meets girl (www.boymeetsgirlmusic.com)... some say they're mushy, i'd say they're great. besides, i became friends with them and they gave me a copy of their latest cd. *smug*

No Apologies
George Merrill /Shannon Rubicam

You want to give me everything
Captivate me with a pretty ring
Love should be easy
This is what you say

You treat me like the sweetest thing
But I know you're gonna clip my wings
No more romancing
No more carefree dancing
After you've made your claim you've made your claim

I want to break free
With no apologies oh oh
I want to break free
With no apologies oh oh

I love the soul behind your smile
Until you plave my heart on trial
You want me to swear
Life begins and ends here

Your love really drives me wild
And I think we could be reconciled
Til I rememeber
If I surrender
I set all my dreams aside set them aside

I want to break free
With no apologies oh oh
I want to break free
With no apologies oh oh

I don't want your shelter I'm breakin free
And right now this matters so much to me

You want to give me everything
Captivate me with a pretty ring
Love should be easy
This is what you say

You treat me like the sweetest thing
But I know you're gonna clip my wings
No more romancing
No more carefree dancing
After you've made your claim you've made your claim

I want to break free
With no apologies oh oh
I want to break free
With no apologies oh oh

An almost quiet weekend

2005-08-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

I noticed it's been a while since I wrote something here. Too much work means less time for anything else so I took time off from work last week. It was meant to be a week's worth of leave but it turned out I had to work Monday and then Thursday evening and most of Friday. There's no rest for the weary soul!

QAF - initials that mean a thousand things

Queer As Folk. A lot of superlatives have been used to describe this TV series. I will just say it is an entertaining TV show that depicts what gay people are about: we're human after all. I'm saying this because even if we're in this century so many ages after the prehistory of man, I still get questions like: how do gay people fall in love? what do you do in a relationship? *sigh*

I am now watching season 4 and I am so pleased with the new theme song by Burnside Project "Cue the Pulse to Begin". The song is so full of energy and it simply rocks! The accompanying videos/images simply got to me, particularly the guy in the white hat below. Sends shivers up and down my spine! Brrr!!! I am not even embarrassed to admit that I can't stop drooling over him and getting a "stiffy" just by watching the introduction, hehe.

After so many episodes, I remembered one particular guy (among the hundreds) who caught my eye from season 2. Some guys have the body and not the face and are called "hipon". Some guys have the face and not the body (don't know what they are called). However, this guy for me is just fine -- that definitely is an understatement... hehe.

It was comforting being with Buds last week in Anilao. We even went to an island to take pictures of garbage on the beach for the upcoming activities for the World Clean Up Day on September 17 and 18.

Diving over the weekend was also great. Sunday morning we saw around 4 or 5 pods of bottlenose dolphins on the way to our divesite near Sombrero Island.

We forgot all about our dive and asked the boat man to slow down the boat so we won't bother the dolphins. We saw adult and young dolphins frolicking and feeding on the surface. Just before we left, (and out of desperation for pictures) I asked the boat man to speed up but not to cut off the path of the dolphins (this should never be done!). I was trying to coax the dolphins to ride our bow wave but they were more interested in feeding... then again, who wouldn't?

Today was an uneventful day. I can not write enthusiastically so I should end here. I hope I could survive the week.

If humans never walked the Earth...

2005-08-04T09:12:00.000+08:00

I have been an environmentalist since high school, some would say it is a noble endeavour while some would say it is a big fucking waste of time. Honestly, I do not have the luxury of time to care what people think about my chosen path... except a few minutes here and there to think: WHAT IF HUMANS NEVER WALKED THE EARTH?

Some people would say this is a very radical way to think but I can't help it, I am radical! I have read books and seen movies where a parasitic race goes to a planet, consumes all resources, poisons that world and then pack up and find another place to destroy. Does that race sound familiar? Here on Earth it is still on a micro level: humans have spread to islands and continents and after consuming everything goes on to a "greener pasture".

How about taking it to the next level then? Why is our race now so keen about finding other habitable planets? Is it because our primary instincts are warning us that the Earth's capacity to support life is slowly fading away? If we are to survive the best thing to do is ensure that our life support systems will have the capacity to do so, in this case Earth, or do what a parasite would: pack up and find another host to feed on.

If humans never walked the Earth, would this place be better? Or would another race commit the same mistakes?

Why this post so early in the morning? It is a healthy exercise and it clears the mind...

Now back to work and I hope whoever reads this starts thinking about their role in saving this planet we call home.

Coron Diving part 2

2005-07-22T20:50:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a week since I was in Coron and the days passed by like a blur. Just came back from an official trip to Bohol and now it's weekend again! Hooray GMA! May you fall from grace a million times for declaring Monday a public holiday! Hehe.

Discovery Divers is a nice resort to stay in and I really didn't mind having BIG geckos in our room and everywhere else. I also liked hanging around the dock during the night, watching the stars, looking into the water and listening to all sorts of sounds all around me. Sounds that one can never hear in Manila and would probably ignore it because of the hustle and bustle of urban life.

I woke up refreshed and had a quick breakfast then prepared for our two dives. No wrecks that day and I knew some coral reefs will be part of the dives as well.

Gunter's Cathedral

No wrecks but entering a crevice underwater still made me stop and have second thoughts about entering. When I did, I immediately saw the blue-green glimmer of light at the end of the short tunnel. At the centre of the cavern, I looked up and saw the sky from underwater and the stalactites hanging down from the cave: a most magnificent sight indeed! When the rest entered and explored the cave, I just stayed in the area where I could see the sky. When I surfaced, Aris took a picture of me which I wouldn't post here. I had the okay sign but my face belies the fact that I was wetting my pants! Hehe!

We went out and explored the reef outside. Nothing spectacular, Palawan-wise that is (what can I say? We all hear about Palawan as the Philippine's last wildlife frontier so we have great expectations...), but the reef obviously was just recovering from dynamite fishing.

The last dive for the day was Barracuda Lake. Ron, our divemaster, described the dive perfectly: it's truly like diving in an alien planet. I should've listened when they told me that a wetsuit is unnecessary. BUT owing to my low pain threshold, I decided to wear one anyway knowing that we're going to climb up limestone walls. Just before entering the water I looked around me and saw a very picturesque view of the lake. I quipped: the Philippines is truly blessed! (note: but we're not doing a good job of protecting it!).

After we entered the water, the thermoclines got to me and I started feeling hyperthermia (read: TOO HOT! VERY HOT!) and had to unzip my wet suit so some water would go inside. We went around the lake and I truly enjoyed seeing the unusual fish life (the water's brackish): big-eyed catfish, shrimps, fishes of all kind and blennies. Melody, the DM trainee, showed us the pile of silt when one can dip their arm up to the elbow and I decided to dunk my head in. Wow! Soft and lots of silt!

After what seemed like endless swimming, Ron signalled for us to stop and gave us the sign to look at the thermocline. He was bloody right! For a time my eyes and the rest of my senses wouldn't agree. My eyes "knew" that I was out of the water but my eyes and the rest of my body "felt" that I was still underwater. That part was enough to complete the dive even without seeing the famous barracuda! (by the way, never saw scale nor tail of the Barracuda)

When the time came to leave Coron it felt like my feet were glued on the pier. The dives were great but I told my friends it's a place I would want to go to after a couple of years or so, unlike Tubbataha. So next year, that's where I'm gonna be!

Danny in Coron: I was there!

Coron Diving

2005-07-19T11:53:00.000+08:00

I did it, finally I managed to dive in Coron and found out for myself what everyone's raving about. I heard that diving in Coron is one of the most memorable experiences a diver could have in the Philippines.

On the way to Coron, I felt lucky to be part of the trip and I was so excited. Thanks to Guenter for organising it and Tony for inviting me. We had a party (read: lots of booze) on the M/V Our Lady of Medjugorje last Friday night and arrived in Coron on Saturday, July 16 at around 6:00 am.

I learned a few things in this trip:

1. Going inside a wreck is not for me. However, seeing the recruitment (or others would say colonisation) of marine life on the wrecks never ceased to amaze me.

2. Going inside a cave is only fun when there's an opening on its roof. I am claustrophobic, that explains everything.

3. I still prefer to see corals and fish... rusty, broken metals I've seen enough of.

4. Coron is really beautiful: over and above the water.

5. What a divemaster should not be... I got left outside a wreck at 30+ metres with no buddy because the divemaster didn't even check that I did not go inside the wreck with the group despite being told that I might not be able to go in.

The Dives

140 metre long Japanese seaplane tender.

This is my second real wreck dive (years ago went to a wreck in Bolinao) and even before the divemaster entered it, my heart was pounding out of excitement and fear. When he entered the wreck at 30 metres, I looked inside and started hyperventilating and decided not to go in. After the last person entered, I realised that the other divers who decided on the surface not to go inside were nowhere in sight so I called the divemaster's attention with my sonic blast (quacker). After a minute or so, realising that the divemaster did not go back to check if everyone made it inside, I looked around and decided to go to the wreck's top (around 25 metres) and look for their bubbles. I found their bubbles escaping from the ships portholes and cracks and decided to follow them. I looked around and saw some fishes despite the bad visibility. I kept thinking: if I were an inexperienced diver I might have panicked and decided to surface or, worse, go in alone and look for them.

Quick thinking and experience counts! Every diver should remember this: Stop, Breathe, Think then Act!

formerly called Taei Maru, Japanese Tanker 200 metres long

I found this dive more enjoyable since I was not pressured to go in and I was with other divers who will explore the wreck from the outside. There was a slight current and the visibility was not any better. Saw some cool nudibranchs, a lobster and a stingray on the hull as well as under the wreck. When we reached the stern (back) of the ship, we swam through the crack and saw lots of large batfishes, snappers, fusiliers, sweetlips and I even saw some jacks swim by including two or three giant jacks (Caranx ignobilis). I enjoyed this dive and felt more relaxed.

formerly Tangat Wreck, Japanese freighter, 140 metres

This was the best wreck for me last Saturday. There were thousands, probably even millions of juvenile barracudas swimming around the wreck. The way they were being so skittish we assumed a predator was no the prowl and started looking for a big fish attacking them but didn't see any. I also saw a lot of large groupers and even saw one that was around 80 cm long. Obviously they were there for the easy pickings.

What I really enjoyed on this wreck was how marine life has encrusted the ship with all sorts of shapes and colours. There was a lot of corals (soft and reef-building) on the hull and the seafans, sea whips and black corals were just beautiful.

When I saw the boiler room, I showed the other divers my underwater "parachute dive". Guenter pulled me down and I decided to try going inside. It was dark and I could feel my heart starting to pound again but being with someone you trust helps a lot. When we got out, we explored more and when I saw Guenter go inside another hole with Monique (she has a video camera) I looked in and saw Guenter gesturing me to go inside. This time I decided to try it and gathered courage, took a deep breathe and squeezed myself through the hole avoiding the corals as much as possible. It was a huge chamber and this time, even though I was hyperventilating a bit, I learned to appreciate why people like wrecks. The light seeping through the holes was very dramatic and beautiful, especially where there were some corals and a red sea fan. On the way out, it felt like a dream seeing the dark turn to light and the colors become more vivid. When we got outside, Guenter wrote in German: "I am proud of you". I wrote: Ich auch (me too!)...

So that was day 1 or our Coron diving! A splendid day indeed.

More to come... have to go back to work.

An unventful Monday after an obsure weekend

2005-07-11T09:27:00.001+08:00

Had a wonderful weekend... yet I feel torn...

Anilao used to be a place of refuge for me, somewhere I could shut down my "work mode" and just relax. This weekend I noticed it seems that magic was lost. Somehow instead of getting relaxed, I also get stressed and the weekend seems fleeting.

Looking at this old picture makes me miss the times when I sit by the shore and wait for the wind to pick up so I could windsurf, or if the feeling's right go diving and find someone to buddy up with me.

The best thing about the weekend is being with Buds. Thanks to Tony, my dear instructor and very good friend for giving him and his friend Chris a discovery dive course. It really felt good diving with him even though it was only for a few minutes. Sharing something you dearly love with someone you really love is the best experience one can have in this life.

A very rare Thursday indeed....

2005-07-07T14:37:00.000+08:00

I did say before that I hate Thursdays because I did say in my previous post: "I guess knowing that this day is a day before the day before the weekend makes me yearn that the day is over and it will be the weekend again"...

But this Thursday is different, I actually put on my YM status: 3 cheers for Thursday!!! which elicited quite a lot of remarks from my friends online. My main reason is that Buds and I will be going to Anilao tomorrow and we'll be together until Sunday. My second reason is that Buds and I will be going to Anilao tomorrow and we'll be together until Sunday. READ AGAIN: It was not a typo, those are the two reasons I have why this Thursday is not incoherent but a great one!

Badjaos

I went to Naujan, Oriental Mindor last Friday and I felt a pang of sadness seeing these people beg for money. Young, old, infant and a family, they shouted "tapon or hagis" asking for boat passengers to throw them a coin and then dive for it in the murky, polluted waters.

I remember attending an indigenous peoples' conference and feeling awe and respect for those who have cultures that city dwelling people do not have. However, seeing how the passengers treat the Badjaos begging at the pier made me mad, confused and feel a sense of loss. Some passengers were disappointed that their coins landed in the boats instead of in the water and exclaimed "Sayang!". I don't see the point why it's a waste if you made it easier for a person to receive your "donation".

These women could be one's grandmother. Would you ask her to dive for coins?

Enough of this angst... I am supposed to look forward to a great weekend and I will!

Have a nice weekend everyone. Live, love but most of all BE SAFE!

Ze Blanc Party!

2005-06-28T17:15:00.000+08:00

Had a busy day and that will be the pattern for the next few weeks traveling to Mindoro, Isabela, Bohol, Negros and South Cotabato. I will have a very busy (a BIG understatement) July and there's no salvation... except my Coron trip on July 15 to 18. Looking forward to it so much that I want to look for Murphy and lock him up before those dates. Haha!

The White Party in Malate was a lot of fun last Saturday night. Seeing all those non-heterosexuals, I made a joke to my friends that at this rate humankind will be extinct in a hundred years!

I never really "dressed up" for any party before nor wear a costume and this time I decided to uphold the theme of the party and, as suggested by my friend Sarah went as a Seaman. Yup, gay men and women love seamen. Pun intended!

Marilyn, a Seaman and Two Mermaids in fishnets!

Sarah was simply stunning, divine and a head-turner in her Marilyn Monroe costume. Don't you think so? Everyone (man, woman, gay, lesbian, young and old; you name it!) just couldn't stop staring at her and say:

Oh.. Marilyn!

A Pride Celebration will never be complete without a "Drag Show" or Men Dressed as Women (but more gorgeous, hehe!) or Women's Clothes with Men Underneath... Haha! This is fun! Anyway it started with a repertoire from the movie Chicago and the crowd cheered the performers on! What crossed my mind was: "These people are very talented and brave. Are those in the audience, like me, (who have never been in drag) applauding because of the great show or because we won't be caught dead being in drag. I think it's both: I lack the talent and the guts to do it!

Them Gurls!

Bombshell

Diana Rose (get the drift?)

Marilyn and a Gurl

Me and a Babe (told you they love seamen)

Boys united, cannot be divided! On the bottom or the top when we go we go pop! (Boy Pop by Book of Love). This song kept playing on my mind while watching the gogo boys strutting their bodies on the stage. This fallen angel rocks! I wouldn't mind falling with him! Ha ha!

After a whole weekend of partying, it's time to work and then next weekend: Dive and Windsurf.

Life could be fair sometimes. Hehe.

Thanks Sarah for the camera and some of the pictures.

A night of confounded recollections...

2005-06-25T18:01:00.000+08:00

The THX cinema proved to be a disappointing venue for the big Pride weekend celebration, dubbed as the Circuit Asia a'Manilahhhh party. I really don't know what went wrong but it felt like people seem to be more interested in posing than partying. Scott Bolton's performance was okay but everything was not as expected when DJ Joe Gauthreaux started spinning those heart-thumping beats, at least from my perspective. In my case I achived my goals: dance, dance and enjoy the night :)

In the blur of laser lights, smoke, sweaty bodies, abs, flabs, muscles and the pounding music my mind drifted to thoughts of love, death, sacrifice, patience, tolerance, despair, frustration, hope, happiness, contentment and so many other things. Or was it someone else having those thoughts?

Tonight on to the WHITE PARTY!!!

Party people: Leif, Aris, Al, Rei and our ultimate fag hag Maan!

Sherwin, Me, Scott Bolton (the Stud Muffin and a very apt title!) and Aris

Me Tarzan and him Buds

Celebrate your sexuality!

2005-06-24T17:03:00.000+08:00

I still believe in ever after, with you
Cause life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there ain’t no pourin', in this rainbow weekend ride
I still believe in ever after, with you
- EVER AFTER by Bonnie Bailey

It's time to let your hair down, wear your dancing shoes and leave all worries behind. Tonight starts one of the most awaited celebration of gaydom. The Circuit Asia a'MANILAhhhhh... party will open the Pride Weekend.

Suggested mantra for tonight: I got my pride and no one's gonna take it away.

Can't say more but say it loud and proud:

HAPPY PRIDE!

I wanna be where the boys are but I'm not allowed...

2005-06-23T16:56:00.000+08:00

This is the opening line of the song Boy by my favourite band Book of Love whose music is described as synth-pop and new wave.

Struggling with my sexuality in the 80s, I found refuge in Book of Love's songs that most people would say was "gay-oriented". I used to toy with the Boy's chorus: I'm not a Boy... which was fun knowing that people around me would just remember me singing the chorus of a song that was popular at that time. What's even more funny was most of them just thought it was a woman's song about wanting to go to a boy's bar but she can't. Back then, deep inside me I knew it was referring to a woman's frustrations of falling in love with a gay boy without any hope of reciprocation. Perhaps the funniest conclusion the song has is that the woman accepts the fact that she can't be loved by a gay guy as reflected in the last stanza of the song: "... now it's alright without those boys, I stay at home at night and I play with my toys..." Poor girl!!!

Their song Pretty Boys and Pretty Girls heralds the age of awareness, society's (both heterosexual and homosexual) acceptance that AIDS/HIV is something serious and awareness is the first weapon we have against it. Book of love performed in a big celebration for AIDS charity in New York and this was part of their repertoire.

One of their songs in the same album called Witchcraft contains the ingredients for a love potion. I wrote the words on the board once and got a scolding from my Theology teacher in UST. I can still hear her: Do you practice witchcraft? The devil works in deceiving ways, you should pray! That would be one of my funniest and most memorable experiences in college. Hahaha!

In their last album Love Bubble (1993) you can use your wildest imagination why this title was chosen and what most of the songs are about. They even have a song called Boy Pop with the chorus: On the bottom or the top when we go we go pop!

But book of love is not all about sex and sexuality. They do have a lot of songs dealing with love, ambiguity of feelings and generally sunny songs. I still listen to them and, after all these years, they still rock!

Rainbow weekend

2005-06-23T09:34:00.000+08:00

Thursday... a day before the much awaited A'MANILAhhhh... Circuit Asia Party (hope I got that right) in celebration of Gay Pride.

I remember the first ever Manila Gay Pride Celebration which turned out to be my big coming out party. Walked around with my boyfriend Jörgen and we were interviewed by local and international television. To make the long story short our interview was shown here and abroad which elicited various reactions from family and friends. It was fun though, and LIBERATING!

HAPPY PRIDE to everyone!

WET DREAMS

I was quite disappointed waking up this morning and finding myself in Manila instead of in Anilao or in Donsol. I was dreaming of diving last night from seeing nudibranchs to swimming with mantas and whale sharks.

The experience I had with the mantas and whale sharks a few months back was surreal, even karmic. I could still picture in my head the turbid waters of Manta Bowl and the raging currents that make you HEAR the rush of water while you try to stay put. I could still see the mantas gently and gracefully flapping their wings without much effort at all to stay in place. I could still remember the biggest one which glided and inspected us from above. The pictures speaks for itself, enough said.

Seeing the whale sharks though require a lot of waiting, jumping off the boat, swimming as fast as you can, looking into the silty waters and waiting for the unmistakable silhouette with white spots, swimming faster to keep up with these gentle giants, getting on the boat and more waiting. I had to wear a weight belt to be able to go underwater easily to take pictures. There was a time a 9-metre whale shark was obviously investigating me with its eye. I felt so much of an intruder then, bothering his or her morning feeding. How would we feel if somebody takes pictures of us while having our meals without asking permission?

Next year, I will try to visit Donsol and Manta Bowl again. Any takers?

Emotional rollercoaster

2005-06-21T13:41:00.000+08:00

"Well it's not for me to say, but I can't see what you see in him anyway. But such righteousness in me is not a nice thing to display. Who am I for Christ's sake anyway, to judge a life this way when my own's in disarray?" - TWO STAR by Everything But The Girl

Wondering why I decided to be nostalgic now... maybe it's the food I ate.

Before I continue with my incoherent musings, I have to say I enjoy writing here. Aside from the fact that I type faster than I write, I guess it's the fact that my thoughts are shared to other people in one way or another.

Everything But The Girl

One of my favourite bands. Most of their songs have been part of my emotional upheavals while some have been part of my celebration of love, life and relationships. This song has been a personal favourite, not because I have too many broken relationships (because I don't) but because the song looks inward as well. I have to be honest that this was my song for a very long time since I had to convince myself that I should get on with my life after I broke up with someboady.

I guess most of us who just broke up with somebody feel that we are victims. Yet when we take a second look, the person we loved might be feeling that way too. WAIT! I am not trying to be a therapist here so I should not really elaborate on this further.

Now that I've started about relationships and love, let me continue a bit more. The question "Why do you love me?" always puts me in an awkward situation. It's cliche but love is not something you explain. I could probably recite Elizabeth Barrett Browning's sonnet but I would be like my father who used a compilations of sonnets and poems to court my mom (obviously he succeeded, hehe!).

I know a song from Everything But The Girl describes the feeling of being in love without saying what love really is:

"Now I don't have to tell you how slow the night can go, I know you've watched for the light. And I bet you could tell me how slowly four follows three, and you're most forlorn just before dawn. So if you loose your faith babe, you can have mine, and if you're lost, I'm right behind, cause we walk the same line. When it's dark baby, there's a light I'll shine, and if you're lost, I'm right behind, cause we walk the same line."

I guess this song tells most of how one feels when you're in love. It seems like time is being stretched so long when you are waiting for him/her, you will always be there for each other and you will eventually reach a compromise about most things.

I hope my boyfriend Buds gets to read this. I love you Buds, don't doubt that.

Adrenaline Withdrawal

2005-06-20T19:34:00.000+08:00

Centred, calm and collected... something I am feeling right now after a long day and a big activity. Now I can focus on less troublesome topics such as favourite books and unusual characters in them; maybe I should just say non-mainstream? Hehe

The Last Herald Mage of Valdemar

JRR Tolkien is the prime mover of the fantasy adventure genre. I am so glad that the Lord of the Rings Trilogy was filmed in this generation when there's a very thin line between fantasy, films and reality. For those who've watched the films, need I say more? For those who have not seen them, find 9 hours of your precious time and watch them!

Another trilogy that I recommend is the Last Herald Mage of Valdemar authored by Mercedes Lackey. One can always say that the LOTR trilogy was too macho. However, this "other" trilogy is exactly the opposite. The lead author, Herald Mage Vanyel Ashkevron is not actually heterosexual but that's not the reason I am recommending it. The plot is really good and the three books are easy to read. I will refuse to say more about the book other than the fact that sexuality and preferences play a major part in the book as well but was intellegently and seamlessly incorporated in the story.

Wind to thy wings ashke!

Whipping currents and Excellent Dives

2005-06-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

In the office, preparing for a "big" activity tomorrow...

The weekend was excellent, superb, wonderful... I could use all the superlatives I can grab from a dictionary but they won't be enough to describe the dives I made this weekend. It was meant to be another weekend of "work" dives since Tony, my buddy aka dive instructor/good friend, has 4 openwater students who need to complete their checkout dives. Due to unfortunate (now I doubt that; sorry buddy!) circumstances, he had to cancel the trip because of a bad cold.

I was joined by Aris and Lief, a wonderful couple who inspire me about how a relationship is about tolerance, acceptance, understanding and (of course) LOVE. A friend of Lief's, Jeff, joined the dives (a lovely guy BUT married AND heterosexual) while Sarah (a lovely woman...) joined the trip to windsurf and, like me, to have a weekend that would keep her sane for another week of work.

Jeff has not been diving for four years so we had to start with a "sissy" dive, pun intended. We dove at steps, not a spectacular site but good for beginners like Aris and someone who needs a refresher like Jeff. Jeff just needed a few minutes to remember how to be a fish and soon we were exploring the "steps" at STEPS, the dive site in front of Vistamar Resort where there's a hull of a ship and two blue ribbon eels under it. We saw a lot of puppies aka tame fishes who have been fed by unethical divers, a school of small barracudas and some nudibranchs but that's about it.

After lunch we did Sepoc Wall, another "sissy" dive and saw a lot of colourful corals, sponges and other organisms on the wall. Our last dive for the day is Lief's favourite: Layag-layag. This dive site actually branches into three possible other dive sites depending on the current: Kirby's Rock, Bahura and Bahura Kanto. The latter is where I usually want to go to see the adult white tip reef shark. As always this dive site has a mild current but no white tip shark. However, we were greeted by colourful corals, lots of fishes and a school of small tuna! There was even a big Titan triggerfish and we had to avoid it. The light was not superb since it was around 5:00 pm already but it was still a wonderful dive.

At this point I knew Aris is becoming a good diver, his buoyancy skills are good and he has the "eye" to see a lot of peculiar marine organisms despite the need to wear correctional glasses. Lief has been a diver for so long and is very comfortable underwater. He's my fellow underwater comedian :)

I was exhausted when we returned to the resort since I was at Bed dancing the night away with my boyfriend Buds the night before and did not have any sleep. I went to bed early and woke up after 7:00 am the next day. This was embarrassing since we agreed to dive at 7:00 am.

Since we wanted to do Mainit the day before, this time I know it would be possible since we are early. Mainit is not for the chicken-hearted hehe. It is at the tip of the peninsula and currents there are quite tricky. However, this place is known for big fishes and a lot of nice coral formations. There was even a time I saw a metre-long grouper! Upon arriving at the dive site, it was obvious there was a strong current on the surface and possibly beneath it also. I asked Lief and Aris if it was okay and they agreed we should try it. I gave the briefing and emphasised the need to stay together AND try to make it to the bend where the current is not as strong.

Upon hitting the water, we were carried by the strong current past the rocks jutting out of the water and into a very beautiful blue backdrop of colourful fishes! First we saw schools of rudderfishes and snappers. I pointed out thousands of bright red/orange fishes called Basslets being carried around by the swirling currents. Around the bend, we saw a big school of barracudas each at least 2 feet long and numbering more than 50. After that a school of Giant Trevallys/Jacks were swimming around obviously waiting for prey to be carried by the currents. Then we got into the "quiet zone" and started investigating nooks and crannies more closely. Aris saw an adult female banded sea snakes and I lifted its tail to show that its tail is shaped liked a rudder for swimming. Lief pointed at the head which was sticking out from the other side of the coral head. It was beautiful!!! We came out of the dive smiling and awed by the whole experience.

The next dive was at Twin Rocks Sanctuary which is not normally a remarkable dive but good enough. However, this time it was such an overload for the senses. Lief found a big cuttlefish and started chasing it. He found another one hiding under a small coral head and it blended in so well! Would've been nice for a picture. Then when I was playing "I Touch Roses" with some crinoids, Lief spotted a Blue-spotted stingray beneath the coral. After that we saw a mantis shrimp near a Blue ribbon eel which was joined by an Emperor Angel. We saw two more big angelfishes, Six-banded and Semicircular which used to be very rare in Anilao because of the aquarium fish trade. Now they're making a comeback! We saw so many things during that dive that now I can only remember some of them.

The nicest thing about the weekend is that there are far less divers in the water which could be the reason why our underwater friends are more relaxed and visible. These dives will keep us sane until we go back again and join them for more underwater adventures in a week or so.

Next weekend: Party time! It's time to be Proud boys and girls cause it's PRIDE TIME!!!

2005-06-16T14:40:00.000+08:00

The Brothers

Incoherent Thursday

2005-06-16T14:13:00.000+08:00

Something about Thursday always makes me feel that I am somewhere between salvation and damnation. I guess knowing that this day is a day before the day before the weekend makes me yearn that the day is over and it will be the weekend again... (beat that! you can only use the word day in a sentence so much hehe)

Just recovered from flu, yes I was under the inFLUence. Took two long years before the bug got me and, as always, it feels like you're over 100 years and life is so unfair. But then again, flu or no flu, life can be very unfair. No fair! So who's complaining?

Karmic Ties. Finished preparations for my meeting at 3:00 pm for my big activity next week so spending time to clean up my hard drive. Saw pictures of me and my good friends Jan from the Netherlands and Joren from Belgium. Met them at the induction for new Greenpeace staff in Amsterdam last November and kept in touch. It was strange that out of more than 30 participants, we hit it off immediately and spent time together like we always did. We had a reunion in Ghent, Belgium upon the invitation of Joren who showed us around his picturesque and historical town. We went to the Torture Castle to look at implements of war and human confessional tools as I would call them. You could almost feel and hear the pain from ages ago. This is where we sat down and started talking about so many things including our personal lives. Jan concluded we were brothers or probably good friends in our past lives. Why?

- we belong to a families were there are four children
- the three of us were born second
- we all have older sisters
- only jan has a younger sister and brother, joren and I have younger brothers

Coincidence? A definite NO!

http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=13563685&postID=111890403152449594

Friday Blues

2005-06-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

A bit under the weather but on the other hand very excited to go back to Anilao tomorrow. I always say going there keeps me sane and it does.

Sometimes I wish I could stay longer in Anilao again, like when I used to work there for 6 years. But time changes you and you change with time. When I started working for Greenpeace full-time September last year, I didn't think I would last a month of being Manila-based again. Now, it seems my system has adjusted to the fast-paced life of the BIG city again.

Looking forward to my dives this weekend and windsurfing on the side. The season has change making windsurfing difficult. Lots of garbage in the water and hitting them with your board's fin. GARBAGE shouldn't be in the sea!